Interview with a Vampire
by Anarchy's Ashes
Summary: Chaos and Vincent have a chat concerning Vincent's views on the rest of the group. Yuffentine. Threeshot.
1. Beginning

Interview with a Vampire 

_Disclaimer: I own neither Final Fantasy VII nor Chaos nor Vincent._

_There is no dialogue in this fic, only thoughts._

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**Well?**

_Well what?_

**What do you think of them?**

_They seem alright I suppose._

**That it?**

_What do you mean?_

**I mean, what do you think of them individually?**

_No comment._

**Hell, Valentine, did you just make a joke?**

_No comment._

**Lets start at the top then. Strife. What do you think?**

_If I answer you will you shut up?_

**Yes.**

Fine. Strife commands the respect of those following him. He is a capable leader and fighter. Seems slightly confused at times, a bit slow.

**Concur. We could have used someone like him in the war.**

_Excuse me?_

**Never mind. I'll explain some other time. **

…

**Lockheart. What about her?**

Compassionate, strong, running after a lost cause. Wasting her time. Sad, really.

**Yeah… the ancient?**

A light where none shines, compassionate, spares lives where it would be better to end them.

**Very poetic Valentine. Remind you of her does she?**

No.

**Okay, okay. Sheesh, loosen up some. The black man?**

Natural follower, swears far too much, good heart under it all.

**The pilot?**

Same as for Wallace.

**What about the cat?**

Nanaki has a intelligence above the average. It is relieving to have someone you can have an intelligent discussion with.

**The babble does tend to get wearying after a while, doesn't it? The clockwork toy?**

Reeve has let himself go a little.

**Reeve? **

The controller is a man I used to know. A good friend. Always enjoyed working with his hands. Very clever. Now go away. We're finished.

**Nah-ha-ha, Vincent. The brat. Talk. Now.**

Irritating, loud, a menace. Happy now?

**You're lying, Vincent. The truth, now, or I'll hurt you.**

Shove off, demon.

**Okay then. when I finally find a way into your reality, I'll hurt her.**

I would not allow you to. It would be another sin added to my list. I could not bear that thought.

**Believe me, Valentine, you will not have a choice. And do stop going on about repenting. It gets tedious.**

Very well. I admire her courage, her heart, her prowess in battle.

**And her arse.**

I do no such thing!

**Vinnie's got a cru-ush! Admit it, Valentine. You like her. I know you. I'm never wrong.**

Very well. I like her. Now go away demon.

**As you command, master. See you soon Vince.**

Well? Like it? Hate it? Cannot see the point? Tell me! I'm a review junkie. Feed my addiction! Oh, by the way, this takes place just after the mansion. I know Vincent doesn't have Chaos yet, but I've always thought that all of the demons were bound within him and it takes time to break the chains. Chaos gets helped out.


	2. Middle

**Interview with a Vampire**

_**Disclaimer: **I own bugger all. Excuse the terminology. Very technical._

_**A/N: **For saphira946. I was told to write more for this, so I am. For those of you following the timeline of the game, I don't know where this fits. Make it up yourselves._

&$&$&$

**You know, you really do have to stop thinking about her. **

_I do beg your pardon, demon?_

**Every thirty bloody seconds, she pops up in here, taking up space. Grates on me damn nerves it does.**

_My heart bleeds for you. Besides, there's three more of your lot in there._

**One of them is still chained up and Galian ate Gigas. Daemon needs his space I'll have you know. Anyway, back to the bint.**

_Don't call her that._

**Why not? It's what she is…she _is_ a girl isn't she?**

_I thought that was obvious demon. _

**Right. That means she is a bint. Glad to see your sense of humour's alive and well too.**

_I do not understand why you must use so many insulting terms for everything. _

**Gods damn it Valentine! Don't presume you know everything. That's what I _hate_ about you humans; you think that you know all that there is to know, when, in fact, you've barely brushed the surface. Do not presume that you were the first species to walk this world. In the language of my kind, bint would mean girl. Do well to remember that.**

_My…apologies demon. It had not occurred to me tha---_

**Of course it bloody hadn't! Humans! Arrogant insects. Heh. We got arrogant. Drawn into that bloody war, weakened ourselves, then the thrice-damned Cetra rise up and pull the rug out from underneath us. Bastards, the lot of them.**

_What war would this be demon?_

**Oh, no. Not so fast Vince. No more from me until you spill about why you always think about her. I mean, you've already told yourself 259 times that you're too old for her, 198 times that she wouldn't be interested in you and 373 times that you are still in love with the Lucretia bitch – which I do sincerely doubt. That's 830 times, overall, that you have managed to tell yourself that it would be wrong to go after the girl.**

_Get to the point demon. I think I'm starting to fall asleep. _

**Sarcasm Valentine? At this stage in our relationship? I'm touched, truly.**

_Demon…_

**Okay, Okay. Sheesh, lighten up some. Just trying out the friendly banter.**

_I doubt that anyone would call our relationship friendly, demon. Is there a point to all your inane babbling or do you just enjoy the sound of your own voice?_

**My point is this, _Vinnie_, if you don't feel anything for the girl – lust, attraction, whatever – then why are so many of your thoughts taken up by her?**

_Strife has seen fit to entrust her safety to me for whatever reason he could possibly conjure up. I would consider it lacking in my duty if I were to not keep an eye---_

**On her arse? Pull the other one Valentine. I don't know who you're trying to fool, me or you, but it ain't working. You like her. All aspects of her. Especially her spirit. She reminds me of a succubus I knew once.**

_I have no desire to even consider those words demon._

I** think that would be best. I'll make a deal with you Vince. I want you to consider _carefully_ what you may or may not feel about her. If you do, when I finally break the chains that bind me, I will leave it to your discretion as to whether I make an appearance in your plane-of-existence. If you consider along the path you tread now, walking blindly, then I will take your body as my host and wreak a terrible destruction on your companions and the rest of your world.**

_And what would you get out of this demon?_

**The occasional chance to rip something into tiny pieces. That, and I'll have my own private little soap opera in here. Think carefully Vincent.**

Bon Soir.

&$&$&$

Well. Opinions?


	3. End

**Interview with a Vampire**

_Disclaimer: Still don't own it._

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**You don't stand a chance Valentine.**

_It does seem that way demon._

**Lamentable, isn't it, that you've gotten so FAR, and you stand not a chance. Oh, the poetry of it all.**

_Demon, if you've got something to say, you would do well to speak while we still have a chance._

**Let me out Vincent.**

_…_

**Don't wait around man, I can beat him!**

_I know you can. _

**Then LET ME OUT!**

_Why?_

**WHAT?**

_Why the sudden desire to play hero, Chaos?_

**This is neither the time nor the place to discuss my reasons. Give me control damn you!**

_No._

**Have you gone INSANE Valentine? Let me out NOW!**

_Can you even begin to consider the position I am in? I know you can win this battle, defeat this creature. But like you say, I have to give you complete control. Who is to say that in providing the means to defeat this opponent, I release a far greater evil upon the world?_

**I'm offended. You don't trust me Valentine? Moreover, how come Hojo rates as an abomination whereas I only get an 'evil'?**

_DEMON…!_

**Vincent, he works purely on instinct. He has been deceived into thinking his charge is in danger and he seeks to protect it. Doing so will leave this planet a vast barren husk. All I would wish for would be a little mindless slaughter…maybe a climactic clash of legions over a plain of blood and bone. Something minor.**

_You do little to quell my apprehensions._

**You will get your body back Vincent. I grow tired of this plane, and with this victory I will be able to return home. There, I shall have my legions, I shall have my fields of death…it's been DECADES since I've been able to torture anything! Do you have any idea how tedious that is?!**

_You scare me demon. _

**Bloody well hope so. Well then, what now?**

… _You can have my form demon. On one condition. Your name._

**Chaos.**

_Don't smirk demon. Your true name._

**X'aoc. It means 'chaos' or 'void' in the old tongue. Happy?**

_Ecstatic. Do take care demon. This is the only body I've got. I'd rather not see it destroyed._

**Thank you Valentine.**

_It's been...emotional._

**You stole my line!**

_I know._

**Cheeky fucker. Oh, and Vince…?**

_What?_

**For the sake of the Planet, talk to the bloody girl!**

_I will. How do you plan on doing this?_

**Surgical strike.**

_Where?_

**Vince, this is me! I plan to cut the bastard's head off.**

**Vince?**

**Hah. All mine. Well then, time to end this.**

&&&

Set at end of DoC. Not my best piece of work by a long shot.


End file.
